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Don’t need make-up, To cover up, Being the way that you are is enough… but you do need One Direction’s new makeup line.

‘You don’t know you’re beautiful!’, One Direction coo in the camera. You don’t know you’re beautiful young teenage girl, but we could help you out, we’ve got some make up stuff to sell, and you’re going to buy it.

I’m very much confused on why One Direction have done this. Firstly, please correct me if I am wrong, I wasn’t aware that they had any knowledge or even interest in the makeup industry. Secondly, their debut hit single ‘You don’t know you’re beautiful’ condemns wearing make-up, I assumed the hidden message to that number 1 hit was to boost teenage girl’s confidence and in doing so, dismantling cosmetic chains everywhere, I expected there would be some kind of anti-makeup protest, women every breaking eyeliners in half, and smearing lip stick to the ground. Strangely enough none of that happened, and instead One Direction have Brought out their own make up line ‘little things’ http://muacosmetics.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/one-direction-beauty-little-things-from.html

Apparently, according to the MUA cosmetics line website,

‘Harry loves Strawberry, Zayn loves Watermelon, Louis loves Vanilla, Niall loves Cherry, Liam loves Blueberry – which one will you choose?!’

I will choose my dignity thank you.

The best bit is the makeup packaging consists of the boys’ ‘what makes you beautiful’ line. This makes you beautiful, this blueberry lip polish will make you beautiful. And if you ever bump in to Liam Payne, then you have hit the jack pot, because Blueberry is his favourite.

Again, Why? Is this purely money related? Because I was under the impression that One Direction already had a lot of that, (£25 million to be precise). Or was it purely for the fans? I asked my 12 year old sister, who is crazily obsessed with the quintet, what she thought of the makeup range. “well it depends. What’s in it?’ I list of the range; a nail polish, lip polish, cheek tint and lipstick. “yeah. I guess, if it was nice” But, I argue, what about their song? You don’t need make up to cover up! ‘hmm, yeah, its hypocritical’ but you would still buy it? ‘yeah, I already said I would, but ONLY if it was nice’ she then walks off, and seems annoyed at me. She didn’t seem too bothered. Which probably sums this whole thing up.

 

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My translation of sexist tweets that took place during the Apprentice Final

After the final of the apprentice tonight, I took to twitter, and browsed the trending topics. To no surprise the trending topics included ‘#TheApprenticeFinal’ ‘Luisa’ ‘Yes Leah’. As I perused, to my disgust, there was several degrading tweets belittling both apprentice finalists. I personally don’t enjoy reading this kind of awful, mind numbingly sexist comments. So, I took the liberty of translating them into powerful, independent, booty shaking feminist power statements. You may thank me later. 

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TRANSLATION: Yes Leah! I think you are a fantastic role model for young women everywhere! You can 100% choose what you want to do with your body.

p.s – I’m very lonely and buy Nuts, even though Porn is free on the internet, which I can’t log on to because my parents have an Under 18’s child lock on my computer *sad face*

 

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TRANSLATION: Yes Leah! Wow! You are a fine young woman, but I do not judge you on your body, I in fact judge you on your business skills which you have shown over the past 12 weeks on the BBC’s apprentice. Well done for winning, I’m sure you will go on to have a successful and prosperous career. 

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TRANSLATION: Yes Leah! I am mainly an awful person. Well done for winning though! I’m the worst 😦 

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TRANSLATION: Leah, you are a strong independent woman. I look up to you. You are fantastic at business and doctor and stuff. #woopwoop 

I think that’s what the creators of these tweets were actually meaning to say. But I hope they just couldn’t find the right words to communicate their true feminista spirit. 

 

I would also like to congratulate Dr Leah Totton on winning The Apprentice. Keep doing what your doing giiirrrllll #feminista

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Why I go to University, and why Boris Johnson is the biggest Joker of them all.

I am a student currently studying politics at university. I am also a woman. I assume you’re shocked at the last sentence. A woman at university? Ludicrous. I thought you’d be chained to a kitchen, making your boyfriend a sandwich (A gaggle of UNI lads will snigger, yeah, bitch, make me a sandwich.) No no, It’s weird. I chose to come to university, because, sorry, this is going to sound a bit bizarre… I like to study, I am passionate about my course, and I would like to advance my career opportunities. 

I know what you’re thinking: is this broad for real?

Or you’re thinking; why are you being so heavily sarcastic, of course I’m not surprised you go to university, of course those are fantastic legitimate reasons why you would choose to go to university, who in 2013 would think otherwise?

Well, it would be Britain’s bashful, boastful, posho, sexist, mayor of London: Boris Johnson.

Mr Boris Johnson suggested that female university students “have got to find men to marry”, and that, incidentally, was the reason why 68% women study within Malaysian Universities. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2013/jul/08/boris-johnson-women-university-husband

The worst bit of Boris’ statement was that it was meant as a joke.

What is a joke? What is a hilarious, genuinely funny piece of material and what is, at best; a poor, excruciatingly painful sexist comment, disguised under the premise of a joke? Because recently, the humble joke has become a ‘get out of jail free card’ for people who can’t actually tell jokes, or were ever blessed with a sense of humour, but they do enjoy a good old kitchen/sandwich/get a husband  gender based comment. This is fine. If you enjoy laughing at men eating sandwiches which a female has prepared for them, then please, laugh until your heart is content. But strangely, that is not how people react. If I were to challenge this kind of ‘joke’, I know the exact reaction I would receive ‘it was a joke. Can you not take a joke?’ It will be my sense of humour that will be judged and not their own. I’m sure the filthy word ‘feminist’ will be spat out also, probably as an insult. Which is fine also.  As I am not the one laughing at the prospect of a high rate of female students enrolling in university to simply find a husband. What annoys me, is that imagine if Boris had said ‘oh these boys, all in university to find a wife’… which is not funny. No one is laughing at that statement. Imagine if a male comedian came up on stage and his first line was “Girls: At university to find a husband” I would hope he would be booed off stage, or at least, I would hope no one would laugh. But people are laughing. Because women are still the punchline of the joke. Or should I say the punchline of an excruciatingly painful sexist comment, disguised under the premise of a joke. And people like Boris are still in positions of power, making these ‘jokes’.

 

 

 

 

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